OCD Subtype:
Sexual Orientation
At the core of Sexual Orientation OCD (SO-OCD), is the feeling of doubt that is common in obsessive compulsive disorder. SO-OCD can affect anyone, whether you’re straight, gay, bisexual, asexual, or anywhere in between. The distress doesn’t come from your identity itself, but from the obsessive doubt about it. Deep down, you know your sexual orientation—but then doubt creeps in, and you start questioning whether you’ve been living a lie or have somehow misunderstood yourself all along. You might feel terrified about what it would mean if that doubt were true—how it could impact your romantic relationships, your sense of identity, and the life you’ve built.
These thoughts often become intrusive and overwhelming, accompanied by the fear that you might act on them—even when they go against your values. People with SO-OCD or gender identity OCD aren’t homophobic or transphobic; the anxiety stems from obsessive doubt, not prejudice. OCD tends to fixate on themes that tap into stigma, identity, or fear of rejection, making the distress feel especially urgent and personal.
Sexual Orientation OCD can show up like:
What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time and I’m actually gay?
I could deal with whatever my sexuality turns out to be, but my mind just won’t let me settle on anything.
What if deep down I already know the truth but just won’t admit it?
f I noticed a reaction to that content does that mean it reflects my true identity?
How do I know whether I actually like men or women?
Common SO-OCD Obsessions
A gay person with SO-OCD might fear being straight, worrying about “straight thoughts” and what they could mean.
You might even have fearful thoughts about being gay, while your OCD rituals don’t seem related at all—like needing to do things a certain number of times or washing your hands in a particular way.
Fear you could be attracted to your same-sex (or opposite-sex) friends.
Thinking your thoughts must reflect a true inner desire and are a sign that you really are of a different sexual orientation.
Fear that experiencing groinal sensations around the same (or opposite) sex means that you are gay (or straight).
Common SO-OCD Compulsions
Mentally reviewing past crushes, relationships, or feelings to search for “proof.”
Checking and analyzing your thoughts over and over, or creating mental rituals to neutralize them.
Avoiding physical contact with people of the same sex (if you’re straight) or the opposite sex (if you’re gay), even in nonsexual situations.
Watching sexual content outside your orientation to see if you react.
Avoiding any sexual content related to the feared orientation for fear it might trigger a reaction.
The Problem Isn’t Your Sexuality
It’s the RelentlessQuestioning
You’re not lost, broken, or in denial. You’re exhausted. Let’s help your brain loosen its grip so you can feel connected to yourself again — without overthinking every moment.
With the right treatment, you can learn to hear the doubt without obeying it. Clarity doesn’t come from more thinking — it comes from stepping out of the cycle. And that step is possible